Better Living through Chemistry

For people who have never suffered depression, you don’t know what you are missing. The inability to function in every day events such as doing simple things like housework or even wanting to go to work is one of the many symptoms. The biggest symptom for me is the “Big Black Cloud.” I become a giant lump. Nothing seems a viable option to want to participate in. I just want to curl up in my big overstuffed chair, cover myself with my warm fuzzy purple blanket and either nap or stare out to nothingness. When I’m in one of those “black clouds” periods, I do nothing for hours on end. Over the years, I’ve tried various drugs that treat depression. And, none of them have worked. Ok, maybe for a brief time for the first two or three weeks but after that nothing, nada.

I just found a new prescriber; this is a person with specific medical training in mental health that has the ability to write prescriptions. This new prescriber is amazing. She has a good grasp of the various depression type drugs available and what they can and can’t do. Since starting with her in October, she has put me on different drugs to find the right one for me. Finally, one worked and it took a few weeks to find the right dosage.

The “Big Black Cloud” has now headed out to the Atlantic. I am interested in participating in life again. It is just so wonderful. I want to do things like housework; vacuuming, dusting, laundry, keeping the house organized and so on. I’ve found I am more productive at work. I’ve been able to organize my thoughts and follow through on what needs to be done to complete an assigned task without freaking out. What a change that is.

Over Winter Break from school, I've started and completed a number of different projects. The biggest one is the kitchen closet. It is an odd little space that was created so there would be enough head room to go down the basement stairs without ducking. The closet door is at the opposite end of where the basement door is located. The floor of the closet comes up to my hips. The previous uses were as a coat closet or shelving. Unfortunately, the shelves were not installed correctly and the dry wall couldn’t hold up the L-shaped frames that were being used. One shelf was in a precarious condition and could have collapsed. Well, I decided to fix that situation. I mean how hard could it be?

After emptying out the closet I found a tiny bit of mold. Yuck! So that would require me to buy a product called “Kilz” which acts as a barrier for those pesky things to not grow. Meaning the entire closet space had to be painted with it to keep the mold away. But first, I had to remove the shelves. Well in doing that, I created two fist-size holes that had to be repaired and patched. And of course, I needed some type of shelves that would not bring the whole wall down.

I found everything I needed at Lowe’s except the shelves. So off I went on the great shelf search. Well, Lady Luck was on my side and I found the perfect shelves at my first stop and of all places it was at Target. And yes, I used my credit card instead of my debit card.

So it is now Thursday evening and this is how my closet project is coming along. The bookcase that I’m using for shelving has now been put together with a little bit of drama. I ended up putting two boards upside down and it took a while for me to figure out what I had done.

The two patches were installed and sat for 48 hours to do their drying thing. The “Kilz” was applied and did its drying thing as well. The new paint is now on the walls and the wooden floor of the closet. And, I decided to paint the inside of the door as well. Then I decided to paint the outside door frame the same bright yellow as the closet. That was a very bad idea. In the near future, like tomorrow, I plan to paint the frame back to its original color.

So this posting started out about my black depression and ended up about a bright yellow closet that I painted myself. Now, that is progress.