It is amazing how a moment in time changes your life and you think your memory will always remember it. This is true in a sense, but over time the incident or individual involved recedes and it doesn’t make you as sad or crazy on a daily basis. I had forgotten this whole saga full of heartbreak and angst but a recent song tripped the memory bank. It was Taylor Swifts “I Knew You Were Trouble” from her album “Red.”
Back when I was 18, I met this guy who I thought was my “first true love.” What a laugh. I may have thought that he was “it” but he didn’t. He was juggling two others at the same time we were seeing/dating/sleeping together. When I mentioned that I thought we were in a mutually exclusive relationship his comment was something about the fact that I wasn’t a virgin so I shouldn’t expect that type of relationship. Oh my gosh what an ass! With that said I dated him on and off for years. What was I thinking?
My parents told me on a regular basis that I was major trouble and the root cause of everything that happened either to them or to our family which wasn't true. Due to their behavior I began to believe that I was a major failure. Pretty heavy burden for a kid to feel that way. Unfortunately, I didn’t grow up as a confident individual that would have had the strength to drop kick this guy permanently out of my life. “I knew you were trouble when you walked in, shame on me” is a great line from Taylor's song.
At the age of 18, I had no belief in myself that anyone would ever want me in their life. I thought I was lucky that this guy was even interested in me. Three ex-husbands later would prove differently.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Year's Resolutions
I find interesting quotes or comments from authors unknown and just keep them. Today while cleaning out last year's clutter I found this. I like it because I can take one "just" at a time to dwell and follow through on. This is called “Just for Today” and the author is unknown.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will try to be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will try to change those things I can change, and accept those things that I cannot change.
Just for today I will try to improve my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do a good deed for somebody—without letting them know it. (If they find out I did it, it won’t count.) I will do at least two things that I know I should do but have been putting off. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk softly, act courteously and speak ill of no one. Just for today I’ll not try to improve anybody except myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour to relax alone. During this time I will reflect on my behavior and I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions. I will expect nothing from the world, but I will realize that as I give to the world, the world will give to me.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will try to be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will try to change those things I can change, and accept those things that I cannot change.
Just for today I will try to improve my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do a good deed for somebody—without letting them know it. (If they find out I did it, it won’t count.) I will do at least two things that I know I should do but have been putting off. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk softly, act courteously and speak ill of no one. Just for today I’ll not try to improve anybody except myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour to relax alone. During this time I will reflect on my behavior and I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions. I will expect nothing from the world, but I will realize that as I give to the world, the world will give to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
