It is amazing how a moment in time changes your life and you think your memory will always remember it. This is true in a sense, but over time the incident or individual involved recedes and it doesn’t make you as sad or crazy on a daily basis. I had forgotten this whole saga full of heartbreak and angst but a recent song tripped the memory bank. It was Taylor Swifts “I Knew You Were Trouble” from her album “Red.”
Back when I was 18, I met this guy who I thought was my “first true love.” What a laugh. I may have thought that he was “it” but he didn’t. He was juggling two others at the same time we were seeing/dating/sleeping together. When I mentioned that I thought we were in a mutually exclusive relationship his comment was something about the fact that I wasn’t a virgin so I shouldn’t expect that type of relationship. Oh my gosh what an ass! With that said I dated him on and off for years. What was I thinking?
My parents told me on a regular basis that I was major trouble and the root cause of everything that happened either to them or to our family which wasn't true. Due to their behavior I began to believe that I was a major failure. Pretty heavy burden for a kid to feel that way. Unfortunately, I didn’t grow up as a confident individual that would have had the strength to drop kick this guy permanently out of my life. “I knew you were trouble when you walked in, shame on me” is a great line from Taylor's song.
At the age of 18, I had no belief in myself that anyone would ever want me in their life. I thought I was lucky that this guy was even interested in me. Three ex-husbands later would prove differently.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment