Here at Smith there has been a higher than normal level of tensions over racist and homophobic behavioral. A student received two anonymous hateful notes placed under the door of her house in the last month or so. It amazes me that the writer of those hateful notes would do it once much less twice! Of course, Smith is in the process of investigating these two episodes. But why should they? In a perfect world, the individual writing these notes would realize from all the Facebook and Tumblr activity that they need to "own up" to their behavior and come forward. That acting anonymously in the long run doesn't help the individual or the school as a whole to grow and move forward and as a result we all remain stuck in the moment. I am a white college educated female with three ex-husbands and at the age of 49 I realized that cats and men weren't my cup of tea. I am now married to the most amazing woman and we are the proud owners of three dogs. In my lifetime, I have had many people who disagreed with my choices and my lifestyle. But what made the difference is that they spoke to me directly and not anonymously. I'm not saying that what they said to me directly didn't hurt because it did. But I had a "face" to put with whatever the objection or judgment was. Knowing who was behind those words was a comfort as some of those individuals had just as many or more issues than I did at the time. So below is one of my postings from June 2010 that I thought was helpful to me at the time but it tells me that I have a lot more to grow and learn to understand why things like the above still happen in the year of 2012. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Being Uncomfortable" Originally Posted June 2010 Recently I attended a three-day training to become a facilitator to lead inter-group dialogues planned in the fall at Smith. The issues that will be discussed are on gender, race/ethnicity and class. I participated in the race/ethnicity group dialogue and I listened to people describe how being a person of color is something they have to deal with everyday. From inappropriate comments such as “Can I touch your head?” or “Does your mother speak English?” to people just being down right nasty. OMG! What planet are these rude folks from? From the same planet that I live on and that is where the problem lies. My being “white” has never been an issue for me. But it should be. My being white does not give me a free pass to be unaware of what life is like for people of color. One of the participants mentioned that “being comfortable” in one’s white skin should not be an option. That to “be uncomfortable” would be a way to grow and stretch one’s self. And I agree. So stay tuned to find out how it feels for me to stretch my skin…