Bye Jim

Yesterday Jim died. He was 85. He left behind two sons, plus many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He also left behind June, his wife of 63 years.

At 84, June is an amazing woman. She is quick with an intelligent response and has a much better memory than I do at 58. I was drawn to her at our Church several years ago and we slowly became close friends. She was an educated woman in an era where woman stayed home and raised their family and never ever stepped foot into the workplace. While raising her sons, she attended classes at various colleges where Jim, a Professor in Theater, taught. Once her boys were old enough, she made a career in the field of education which she did until her retirement.

She is one of the most stubborn women I’ve met in years. Though, she just pointed out to me last weekend that she feels she’s met her match in me. Of course, I disagreed with her. I decided that being considered a “pushy broad” was a more appropriate description of me.

I didn’t even know Jim had been hospitalized with pneumonia in both lungs until June called me for a ride to the hospital two weekends ago. June expected me to drop her off at the hospital after Church and just drive off. Not happening. I stayed with her and drove her back to her home after a couple of hours of visiting Jim. I kept Jim entertained with stories about our three dogs, Chloe, Fast Eddie and Chancey. Jim enjoyed the Fast Eddie stories so much that he laughed several times which isn’t easy to do when one is on oxygen.

This past Sunday, I drove June to the hospital with the promise that I would only stay for a few minutes. I’m glad I visited him that last time as I feel a certain amount of closure by doing so.

I cannot even image what June is going through right now. This is a woman who spent 63 years married to the same man. What would it feel like to lose someone you’ve spent 3/4’s of your life with? I have no clue. I truly hope that Jim’s death doesn’t shorten June’s time here on this earth. I so want to spend many more years sharing moments with her and I hope I do.

My Wonderful Minion’s

I have this lovely group of students who help me out in my office. Without them, I couldn’t attend meetings, doctor appointments, do office errands or take a lunch break.

I can get rather hot-headed when certain rules are broken and the Smithies involved know better. My minion's assist me in reviewing my e-mail for the bitchy factor and correct my grammar mistakes at the same time. This is where I’m given advice on my tone and wording. My minions are willing to do whatever is needed to make this office run smoothly. From cleaning off snow on the vans to helping students navigate through budget questions, van reservations, and life questions, such as “Should I buy those red boots?”

Below is the definition I found on my iPhone using the Merriam-Webster app. I don’t think of my minions as servile, followers, underlings or subordinates. Instead I think of them as part of a wonderful group of intelligent, articulate and caring individuals that I have the pleasure to spend time with. Plus, with their help, I wouldn't be the amazing creature that I am. What more could a Diva want?

\min-yen\

1: a servile dependent, follower, or underling
2: one highly favored
3: a subordinate or petty official

Life....

I get so busy with my life that I just don't make the time to sit down and write a post. So I have five minutes....

I recently won an award here at the College for being an outstanding staff member by the student body. To say that I feel honored is an understatement! I have been the SGA Office Manager for seven years now. For the first four to five years, I didn't get much support or feedback about my position. Starting with the 2010-11 Cabinet and this year's Cabinet, I know that I'm truly appreciated for my efforts to support the SGA Cabinet, managing nine student vans and so forth. The diva in me is so thrilled! Oops, the five minutes is up!!

More to come.

I'm back..............did you miss me?

I last wrote in my blog in June 2010. A lot has happened since then. 2011 was one of the worse years I’ve experienced in my lifetime. The good news is that I’m doing much better now.

Last year, I finally accepted that my mental-health issues stemmed from having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The physicians and therapist knew but felt that I should figure it out on my own. I have been in a program since August and it has made a difference in understanding that the demons that have lived within me for years can be sent packing.

Am I better person for this life altering experience? I don’t know. I do know that it has made me more empathetic to others who deal with the inequities that life dishes out to us on a regular basis.

Life is not easy. If anyone ever tells you that life is easy and there are no pits to be found in that bowl of cherries, put some distance between you and them. They are either living in a fantasy world or life just hasn’t dropped a giant pile of doo-doo on them, yet.

Do I still struggle most days? Yes. I’ve lived with these conditions all of my life and they won’t change overnight. Will I get better at dealing with what happens when dysfunctional individuals are placed in my path? Of course, but probably not until I’m 80! So I just take one step at a time, remember to breath and face what life decides to dish out for the moment.

"Being Uncomfortable"

Recently I attended a three-day training to become a facilitator to lead intergroup dialogues planned in the fall at Smith. The issues that will be discussed are on gender, race/ethnicity and class.

I participated in the race/ethnicity group dialogue and I listened to people describe how being a person of color is something they have to deal with everyday. From inappropriate comments such as “Can I touch your head?” or “Does your mother speak English?” to people just being down right nasty. OMG! What planet are these rude folks from?

From the same planet that I live on and that is where the problem lies. My being “white” has never been an issue for me. But it should be. My being white does not give me a free pass to be unaware of what life is like for people of color.

One of the participants mentioned that “being comfortable” in one’s white skin should not be an option. That to “be uncomfortable” would be a way to grow and stretch one’s self. And I agree.

So stay tuned to find out how it feels for me to stretch my skin…

Lucy & Terry's 3rd Annual Summer Party!

Awesome food, great conversations and lots of dancing! It was a smaller crowd but lots of new people to write about.

Bingo! I found the name of the missing teenager from last year's party (see July 26, 2009 posting). Fran and Dave’s daughter’s name is Aliza! Lovely young woman, we had a very nice conversation about my blog.

Terry & Lucy – I love their parties. My favorite spot is Lucy’s pottery studio. Lucy is very talented and we did own five her creations, after the party, it’s now six! Go to http://www.luciapottery.com. They are down to six chickens from last year’s eight. They had a rooster but he was nasty to Terry and was always attacking her. I heard he was the main contributor to a great tasting soup!

Andrew – Lucy’s 12 year-old son. He still has those awesome eyes that I mentioned in last year’s blog. He danced with his mother and he was very playful with her. One of his dance moves (that boy can dance) he pretended to have a fishing rod and he reeled in Lucy and she played along. It was one of those touching moments shared between a mother and son. Very out-going and one could tell that he was comfortable dancing with us ladies who were all over 30-something plus!

Luke – Lucy’s 15 year-old son. He has an awesome smile. He has a calming way about him. I see great leadership skills in his future.

Andrew – Terry’s 15 year-old son. I have not seen him in years! He has inherited Terry's soul-searching eyes. He also has a sly wicked sense of humor. The makings of a potential comedian?

Matt – son of Mike & Linda who attended last year’s party. Great hair, very thick and slightly curly. He has a great smile and the braces are gone!

???? - the fifth attendee of the boy's club and I didn't get his name. At one point he was on the dance floor with us, what a brave soul!

Josh – friend of Luke’s. When his mother tried reeling him onto the dance floor he leaned over and used a scissors-like motion! What a hoot!

Maddy – sister to Josh. About ten and a budding artist! She made a bouquet of flowers for Lucy out of painted plastic spoons. I’m thinking of “borrowing” her idea to sell at the shop. I made have to give her royalties!

Barb – charming mother of Josh and Maddy. I told her Mary’s story about the car accident and she showed so much concern and empathy. She is definitely someone I’d like to have as a friend.

Dave – husband to Fran, father to Aliza. They live across the way from Lucy & Terry. And, he is the keeper of the Green River.

Fran – wife to Dave and mother to Aliza.

Molly – is also a professional potter and colleague of Lucy’s. Go to http://www.phlaunt.com/mollypots/. She works a lot with black and white designs. We shared the dance floor and she still dances like Ellen DeGeneres! Meaning she has a smooth unique funky way of expressing herself through music.

Mary – a pottery student of Lucy’s. We had a wonderful chat and I entertained her with stories of my four dogs. We discussed the name “Mary” and that very few women under the age of 30-something have that name.

Gail – a pottery student of Lucy’s. A member of the big-girls pottery group.

Dawn – a pottery student of Lucy’s and part of the big-girls pottery group.

????? – she too is a member of the big-girls pottery group. Didn’t get her name or her husbands. She’s famous for her clay piece of a chicken butt roaster! It has a cone in the center where the chicken is in impaled and beer sits in the cone. At some point it makes contact and is suppose to add lots of flavor.

Evie (sp?) and her husband – she too is a student of Lucy’s. She is making a video for a local T.V. station in Greenfield about a book she wrote. I just didn’t have the opportunity to get more info and I wished I had!

John – husband to Mary Ellen and grandfather to the neighborhood kids. Retired but teaches to students wanting to master the English language.

Mary Ellen – wife to John and grandmother to the neighborhood kids. I didn’t have a chance to speak to her which was a disappointment.

And last our Karen – lives across from Lucy & Terry’s, and a wonderful friend of ours for over five years now.

Another great party had with Lucy, Terry and all their family and friends. I am so looking forward to their 4th annual summer party!

My Summer Plans

Well, another year at Smith is coming to an end and starting June 7th, I will be off for nine whole weeks. Which sounds wonderful but nine weeks without a paycheck? Yikes! This is my fifth summer of being available, so you’d think I would be a pro at figuring out summer employment. Really, who wants to hire someone for two months? Plus in today’s employment market finding any kind of job is a miracle.

This is what I have planned for my summer. I still have my year-round Saturday position as a receptionist at The Jones Group, www.JonesRealtors.com. For the past year I have been creating jewelry, earrings and bracelets with magnetic clasps. I use a variety of bead types: glass, plastic beads made in the 60’s, gemstones such as amethyst, garnets, wood, and so on. My jewelry is being sold at Nonotuck Arts Emporium which is located at 98 Union St., Easthampton, MA., phone is 413-527-1025. I am also going to work part-time there which should be fun!

Also, during the summer months is when I have the opportunity to spend time in the yard working on the many gardens I’ve created over the past five years. So I should stay out of trouble for the summer. I wish it was that simple the rest of the year!!

More later,
YFD